Okay, I know that once I get this all out I will feel much better. I know I don't have anything to complain about, but I also don't want to dump needlessly on Ben, so that's what this post is about! Just gloss over or jump past!
I'm tired of wondering whether or not we'll have a job tomorrow. I'm tired of having to convince myself each round that I know everything will work out because we've prepared. I know, yet it still can be consuming. How do you not have fear? I don't feel like it's actual fear, but it's certainly on my mind A LOT and praying is the only way it calms that in my heart. Thanks for the CHANGE, but no thanks next time!
But my big one for the day is the boys! Ty spent the afternoon yesterday in my lap whining if I even ventured to move. He just wasn't Tyler because he didn't even cry - just moaned. Poor kid! Then after he poked around at his dinner I thought something was wrong because he loves to eat! So his temp was high, but then I sat on the couch for two straight hours holding him and trying to pacify Trenton. Ben wasn't home until after 8pm, which is very unusual, but of course it happens on the day I really wanted him to help out with Trent. Oh, well. So, I got them both ready through all the tears and moaning and then kept getting up with Tyler. I checked his temperature again around 10:30pm and he seems much better. This morning everyone seemed fine...except blurry-eyed me. After Tyler's nap his fever was back and I read 103.8! I did want to know if he still had an ear infection, or if it was better. Trenton was then mad at me the whole way to the doctor's because we weren't playing outside. It's hard for a 3-year-old to understand why his little brother is sick and why mommy can't do more fun things with him. Bummer! Tyler's ears are fine - finally! On the way out the door Trenton lifted up his shirt and he had a rash all over his body. I asked them to take a look at that - I figured probably allergies related. And that's what they confirmed. I walk in the door and Trent immediately lays on the couch and won't move. Take his temp and he's 102.7. What is going on!?? Neither of the boys show any signs of anything...nose, eyes, ears, cough - all good. Both are sleeping now and they will do that for a long time, thankfully, because it just seems like they need to get better. Of course we have the next few days full of things, but I guess I'm supposed to cancel or shift things around and just be the mommy. This mommy is very drained from holding two little boys all morning long, but it does seem more manageable having vented about it (several times!). At least I won't have to subject Ben to any whining from me. However, it will be another night of him not being here. Maybe that will end up being a blessing tonight for him!
2 comments:
Oh, that is horrible. Did the doc say that the fever could be allergie related? Because I am thinking it isn't allergies since the rash seems so close to Trenton's fever. I am sorry your day and rest of the week is looking less fun! If you need anything let me know!
That is horrible! Just hearing you vent brings back those times when Parx has been sick. It is so hard when our kids are sick...I only have one, I don't even want to image how hard it must be with 2 sick little ones! Hang in there. I have had many break down moments as a mom feeling like your at your breaking point and not knowing how you will go on. Then somehow manage to. I wish there was something I could do to help! Having support has always helped me get through. Your boys are so lucky to have you as mom! hope they start feeling better soon!
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