There, it's off my mind!

One quick note about Paige - she's HUGE. Okay, maybe not bigger than Trenton, but she only has about 10 days until her next check up and I am VERY curious to find out how big she is. I'm guessing about 15-16 pounds right now. I love it. I love her thighs and he chubby little hands which she tries to shove in her mouth. I love that she calms herself while sucking on said hands, which is very new to me. I also love how happy and content she is most of the time. I just love snuggling her. I don't feel put out or rushed while holding her. I love every minute...probably because she is not demanding and seems to be my most understanding baby. I mean, I just don't see Tyler waiting patiently while his brother threw yet another temper tantrum that mommy had to deal with. Tyler still doesn't wait patiently for brother or sister. Or mom. Or dad. You get the idea. I really feel blessed to have Paige in my life right now. I know this is my theme with her, but holding Paige relaxes me and makes me happy. I love it. Beware that I may want to hold my baby nonstop during Christmas!! :)
About Tyler, he is so sweet. Yesterday while Trent & Ben were at the BYU game Tyler went potty on the potty by himself. Crazy! Of course today things turned back to our normal right now, but it was fun for one moment to see how excited he was about going in the 'big kid potty'. I was proud of him. And I love that he still kisses me. Today he begged the entire morning of getting ready for church to please read him "Old Yeller". Strange, but whatever. I brought all the kids home after Sacrament because of colds and after laying Paige down I climbed on his bed and read to him. I love my kiddos. I feel like I have fallen off the planet...which is okay. But it's so much harder to try to get back on than just holding on tighter in the first place. Oh, well. Who knew? I am determined today to get it all back together so I can start to have a somewhat normal week. I know you must be asking, then why am I updating my blog of all things? Well, because it's important to me. I want to share the pictures with the grandparents and record what's happening, and hoping that if I get it all out there then I can move on. Mentally. See, that's the other problem. My mental capacity seems to have ditched out on me and I don't see it coming back anytime soon. I was feeling so good and on top of things - not really remembering, but at least muddling through, and then this. It's like there's nothing there. Thank heaven for Ben who comes home and talks to me about things happening in the outside world so that I don't completely lose a grip of reality. I mean, it's already happened, but I still love when he talks to me about anything other than what I've already tried to get a handle on all day. Maybe that's why I lost it when Ben went out of town for a week. He went indoor skydiving and rode on several rides at Universal in Orlando, but here at home I somehow ended up having an 'anything goes' attitude until everything came falling down on top of me. (I was so glad Ben got to do fun things - he thinks my job should pay for me to indoor skydrive too, someday! Next time I need a better 'survive-without-daddy' plan.) And then I lost the one thing holding my brains together - essentially my planner. All my contacts, calendar, lists, gift ideas, YWIE planning - you think of anything that is on your lists and planners and that's what I lost. Basically, my mind. I got most of my contacts back and fortunately I had just had Ben put our December calendar in his planner, but I still felt lost. So, I just let everything else go a second time! Isn't that a great idea? Yeah, that worked until I started getting weird looks from Ben about why nothing was changing from the time he left until the time he got home...well, maybe changing, if adding more chaos counts as change. Okay, maybe those looks were all in my head, but I really need to get a grip. Today's the day. I can feel it. Feels like drowning. It hurts! Ben skydiving...the movie he brought home makes it look like SO MUCH FUN!! Yeah, my job should pay for that someday!