Pulling It Together

Today I went visiting teaching and my companion had a family emergency so she didn't end up coming. I was just talking light and asking what I could do to help out and this sister told me that she was really feeling overwhelmed with everything that is life and 5 kids, etc. She specifically mentioned all the paperwork/emails/calls/texts that are part of life these days. We talked about some ideas and she asked what I do. Of course, mine is always a work in progress and I don't know that I ever feel all caught up, but I have come to terms with some things this last year and some of that includes what I do so I can also not do.

My sister and I have been talking about schedules and planning and how that fits into a busy life that doesn't stop simply because you need to figure it all out. :) At the beginning of this year, as I was trying to finish pulling my mental/spiritual/emotional state back to where I could physically get out of bed each day, I wrote things out and have since gone back and read it several times. It makes me happy to have a plan. I don't fly by the seat of my pants very well, but I do better when I know the basics are taken care of.

 This schedule is very relaxed. I am AWESOME at deleting tasks that I just plain don't want to do or don't have the time for. I usually schedule them a few months down the road and sometimes find myself in a better mood about them in a few days. But after Paige I do not leave things on the list that will just frustrate me. If it doesn't work out, then it can wait.
Hence, why Paige is showing off that I FINALLY hung up some pictures on our walls. It's only been a year. Once I got started, I couldn't stop, but it was the finding the right time for my brain that did the trick.

*Written the end of last year* At the beginning of 2011 I had a complete breakdown. I held it in for several weeks and months and then it all came gushing out. I couldn’t focus, function, or even really move. I felt paralyzed by fear, expectations and life. I was out of control and it took a while to understand why and how to get back to me. A huge part of it was hormonal, as my daughter was only a few months old. However, I looked into probably 15 different things to help me get myself back and found out some things about myself.


I like to plan. I like to know what is happening. There seemed to be a huge trend where I lived that every mom, in talking to other moms, would try to outdo the others in how much they could NOT accomplish. They would compare the messes of their houses and try to win! They would talk about how little they had done with their children or how they had made their husbands come home and cook while they left a messy house, hungry kids, and a tired husband to fend for themselves. It was really frustrating for me, not because I couldn’t do what they were doing, but because I couldn’t really tell them what I was really like. I feel like I can flourish with my system and lifestyle, but how could I tell people that I had a plan to vacuum my baseboards and clean my mini blinds right along with plan a date night with my husband and read with each child every day?? I was feeling suffocated and alone in my pursuit for a happy and fulfilling life. I wanted purpose and direction and I got it by scheduling quality time with my kids and scheduling a time for me to get some personal reading time, learn how to make a new recipe, and write a letter to my grandparents monthly.

Part of my recovery was shutting out people I couldn’t honestly talk to and being okay with having a very clean house. It’s nothing to be ashamed of! It’s awesome and it’s how I live a happy life. I have a schedule that doesn’t rule my every moment, that works for me, and still gives the appearance of a fairly clean environment, so I like it. I realized that since my daughter was born I hadn’t done anything more than basic laundry dishes and pick up. When we moved in September 2011 my house had a few messy spots that I usually would’ve been paying more attention to. However, I still let my friends come in and clean my blinds and tell me how clean my house was. I took it as more of my soul recovery and thanked them for their kindness. It’s okay to take compliments and it’s okay to be good at things that are important and my family is important. I feel so very blessed to be able to take care of my family and plan a life that has very few ‘emergency’ moments where the whole house goes into survival mode to just get through the next few hours. I like having LOTS and LOTS of down time for me to enjoy my kids without one bit of guilt or concern. I like being able to have my husband wear nicely ironed shirts to work and take a great home-packed meal that I made while being all freshly primped and put together. I like wearing lipstick in the morning when I kiss my sweetie goodbye and I like knowing that there’s time enough for my spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional development and improvement. My system makes it possible.

Each day has a different focus and it gives my week order and a time for each activity.


Monday is heavy cleaning/laundry day.

Tuesday is paperwork/computer/phone calls day.

Wednesday is errand day.

Thursday is light cleaning day.

Friday is free/play day.
Saturday is family day.

Sunday is church/family day.

With each day having a focus I can just do that day’s work and then enjoy my children, my husband, and my life. I am also able to drop what I’m doing if friend or family members come into town. I can easily switch my days around or let things wait until the next time they come around on the schedule. I love my schedule because it gives me freedom and control and peace of mind. Nothing gets too out of hand because everything has a time and place.

On Mondays I spend 3-5 hours throughout the day cleaning. If I just get started while I’m in the kitchen making breakfast, the day is already running and I can just continue when we get back from taking Trenton to school. It’s easy to run a load of laundry and then continue to clean the bathrooms or mop the floors. Every week has things to be done weekly and then there’s always one or two every 6 month or a yearly cleaning job to be done. If I only have to clean one or two sets of blinds every few weeks, then I can easily stay on stop of the heavy cleaning without having to spend weeks feeling guilty that I can’t get to it all.

Tuesday is the day for all phone calls, all computer searches I have been wanting to make, responding to emails and writing any thank you cards. I also make my menu for the week on this day, label and organize photos on the computer, spend 30 minutes working on scrapbooks, balance the budget, and clip coupons. I organize and get all the coupons ready for the next day. I do preschool with Tyler this day.

Wednesday is errand day. I try very hard to plan as many appointments on this day as well. Doctors and dentists appointments can be made first and then the needed errands can be schedule before or after the set appointments. Having a big day to do as many out of the house things as possible all at once is helpful because I’m not running all over the county every day. I do have young children so sometimes I cannot get to all of the errands that I would like to. Sometimes we have to do a small errand on a different day, but it basically works to have a plan. The night before is the time to gather all the things I need for errand day: dry cleaning, coupons, library books, etc. Wednesday morning after I drop off Trenton I just continue on with our day out and about. I find it’s been helpful to have Tyler and Paige bring books, toys, and snacks. I can usually keep everyone happy for a few hours with snacks. This is the day I try to throw in a field trip if we want.

Thursday is a day to spruce up the house to get ready for the weekend. I do any laundry that’s accumulated, occasionally do some light vacuuming, sweep up the floors, and just straighten up the house. Nothing heavy is done and usually only about 1-3 hours depending on how the kids are cooperating. Mondays and Thursdays I try to fit in any outside gardening that I need to do. Pulling weeds and in the fall bringing in the harvest. Planting my flowers and making the yard beautiful. Another preschool day for Tyler.

Friday is my free day. I make sure that I get in lots of reading on this day. I will watch shows, do any fun decorating or rearranging, and do a lot of reading to Tyler and Paige. I have also made this be my baking day. I have not enjoyed baking or cooking in the past, but I have tried to change my attitude in the last few years since it’s a HUGE part of my life. I don’t bake a lot, but try to bake 1-3 things each week. Having a few fresh cookies for the coming week’s lunches makes me feel like I’m providing and making my family happy. Some fresh loaves of bread for the next week’s meals makes me happy and it’s not too stressful because I have a clean kitchen to work in. This is the day I look forward to to get through the others. I can push myself to clean everything on Monday because I know I have a completely free day to read, watch a movie, bake a new treat, work on a project I've been wanting to get to, play around on the piano or finish up whatever I'm really into at the moment. This day is about doing what makes me happy. So sometimes I blog or find things on the web and sometimes I just lay on the floor for a few hours and do the same two puzzles over and over. I can because everything else is done.


Saturday and Sunday is all about family and relaxing and working on the house and yard. Sometimes we go out to play, but usually we stick around here and play games or watch a movie together after all the chores are done that Ben and I usually end up doing together. This is clean the garage day, work in the yard and do projects that I need his help with. Sun is church and family. Ben and I usually end up in the kitchen together for most meals this day. Ben likes to cook and I love having him in there with me so we can visit and catch up.
This break up for days is easy for my brain to anticipate what’s coming next and to help plan things with friends and family. Of course I don’t put off people because it’s not on the right day, but sometimes I just have to tell myself to switch activities or to prepare to work extra hard in the morning so we can play in the afternoon. The faster I get things done each day the happier I am.

Menu planning is easy knowing what’s happening each day. Monday is leftovers from the previous week to help clean out the fridge or an easy casserole. Wednesday is crockpot because I’m out doing errands all day. Saturday is sandwiches, grill, or anything we feel like having. Sometimes this is the day we go out to eat. Sunday is our feast day, but also usually made in the crockpot. We currently have church ending at 4pm. It’s nice to come home, change, and enjoy a nice Sunday meal together. Having the meals coordinate with the day’s activities help me not be so stressed about what to prepare. It’s easy to menu plan because we have a plan. Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday are usually based on what is happening that day. If it's a normal day then whatever fun new recipe I have does great!