On Growing Up

A few months ago one of our friends (and Trent's friend) went through something terrifying for a parent. When it came time to pick up kids and head home from church, their oldest wasn't at church. The teacher had loaded up the kids and taken them out to his farm. Or something. FREAKY!! Yeah, pretty sure there's rules about that (not to mention the single male teacher...). Ben will NOT close the door to our classroom if I'm not in it. And we only have three and four year olds. It's not worth it. Why risk it?

After hearing the details of that story we sat our kids down and impressed the importance of NEVER, EVER going ANYWHERE with ANYONE without our okay. We went through the list of trusted adults: grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers (church & school), Bishops, friends' moms, etc. We banned our children from going with any of these people (and anyone else) without our permission. There are just too many scary things and if the parents don't know where the kid is, then something is wrong! We created a family code word to give to those who need to pick up our kids without that communication.

We have had this talk a few times - just a refresher on what's okay and when it's okay and the code word. This may actually become a reality depending on when this baby comes, but I feel pretty convident that Trenton (who would be the one concerned) would play his role right and ask for the code word.

Speaking of babies coming, Trenton is now 7 and has asked me, "how does the baby get out?". Ben and I were up with just Trenton when he asked and I told him. His eyes got big and then he said, "I think that would hurt!". Yep, kid. You're right. Ben laughed and told him to be grateful he's a boy. Ben is. :)

Another fun conversation we've had lately went something like this: We were all downstairs, ready for bed, about to start reading scriptures and then send kids off to bed. Trenton, half to us and half to himself says, "If girls can have babies without being married, how does that work? Do they just really, really have to want the baby?"
Ben and I looked at each other and looked back at Trenton and I said, "Sure, I'll tell you how. After scriptures.".
So, after the other two were in bed, I asked Trent if he still wanted to know. He said yes. I asked what made him think of that, and then asked what his question was exactly again. And then I told him, based on his 7-year-old brain, the answers to his questions. He didn't ask much - we maybe talked for 7 minutes tops. Ben was super nervous and happy to let me do all the talking, but he did pitch in a little.

Of course our conversation after Trenton was in bed was the recap on what happened! Ben cannot believe we have a kid old enough to come to us and ask those kinds of questions. I am so happy that my son, who is going to hear about it long before we feel 'comfortable' talking about it, is coming up to us and asking. He's just curious and honestly doesn't know.
I truly, honestly have always wanted a relationship with my kids where they would come to me and ask me questions - especially these questions. In the October Ensign there is an article that talks about how many parents (in the church) talked to their kids about sex and the percentage is about 15%. So sad! I'd rather we can talk about it than not.
I don't know if he'll come to us again, but I do know I'm okay with it if he does. Otherwise, in a few years we're going to have to bring it up ourselves. Sometimes kids know when they're ready to hear that stuff. Yes, it's weird that he's getting so old, but hooray that he felt okay to ask.

All of these realities are making Ben feel super old. But he'll live....:)